An uneventful day

Life is rather dry these days. My work has nothing to provide for me, stimulation wise and I've been recently moved to another side of the building. I don't get to integrate with the people around me anymore. I'm stuck on the side of the *gack* accountants and managers. How much drier can that get? At least the girl in the desk ahead of me talks to herself. That's the only conversation I get. I have heard, however, that the gossip has gotten so bad inside of my "home" department, that the other departments are talking about them. I'm slightly content to know that I'm not a part of that.
Otherwise, nothing too special. Though I do beleive I mentioned J earlier. I've been going through many stages of pushing him away. I even went so far as to tell him not to come here when he secretly planned a 4 day visit. I felt horrible doing that. It was the meanest but most horrifically logical thing I'd ever done. Fat load of good it did me. I went and visited him the weekend before last, which entailed hours and hours of driving, getting lost and hitting snow in early October. I totally broke down. I had been sick for 2 weeks and I needed to be taken care of. So I drove hundreds of kilometres to get it. It was worth it too. I still don't understand why I can desire marriage and long-term so much yet willing remain with J when he has no clear desire to be long-term. I take small solace in his jealousy and knowing that he is only with me anyways and doesn't want anyone else.
The main point of this is that he asked me to be his date for his companies Christmas party. It's a very big thing. It's held at a very high ranking hotel in his city and is very formal. Ice sculptures and fountains of champagne and the like. Over 1000 people will attend this. I'm quite excited about it and glad he asked me. I feel a sense of validation. His cousins, siblings and now workmates will know about me. Perhaps I am climbing the ladder of standing. Perhaps I am just wishing. I choose to live in the unknown and cloud of happiness for now and not push the issue.
I also got asked to go to another Christmas party by a guy from highschool who had a crush on me for years but I felt he trivialized it. It's like he just wants to show me off to his work friends cuz I'm so "hot". Oh well, at least I'm desired, I suppose.
Anyways, it's late. I need to sleep. Hallowe'en is tomorrow! Excitement!! I love dressing up.