Anonymity & the question to break it or not?

Troubled, troubled, troubled little mind of mine. Sometimes I envision it as one of those multi-geared contraptions that's moving a million marbles repetitively through-out this huge maze-like mechanism that just never stops and has a million different ways of getting to the same destinations, but each of those destinations having a million more ways to get to another destination. Confused yet? I always am.

One of the things I'm considering is letting my best friend read this. I don't know if I should because it takes away my comfort level of nobody knowing who I am. I might feel obligated NOT to say something, knowing that she might read it. I don't know. I'll think about it some more. In some ways, I don't think it should or would make that much of a difference. She knows almost everything about me as it is. She's the only one I really talk to about the "real" things in life, especially when it comes to those creatures we call Men. Sure I talk to J about everything else but when it comes to Men, I stay far, far away from that topic because he is one of "them" and he just can't understand. I could write an entire essay on the things we debate. He's fun to debate with though, that's really the only reason I do it.

Back to my friend though. I'll call her D. With her, I'm open about everything and thank God for her, really. She is someone who... I don't know... to be cliche... someone who listens but not only that, relates to me and "gets" things. She actually gives me opinions about what I tell her and gives me perspective. Good perspective, at that. We listen to each other and I like to think it's a rather balanced friendship even though it's a bit intermittent (somewhat my own doing, I admit). The other friends that I have are so selfish. They just want me to listen to them, give them advice and try to fix their problems somehow. Or they just want to continue to be the same crappy person they've always been, wallow in it and never change and then complain to me about how crappy their life is. At least, D cares about life, how she lives it, the choices she makes and the things she does. She's a good person and truer to herself and life more than almost anyone I've seen in my life. (if she ends up reading this she's probably blushing right now. I think she believes I think much higher and more of her than she deserves but she's so very wrong.)

Anyways, I know she's started to write a blog and that's what prompted my thoughts in sharing mine with her.