I don't have time to talk about this just yet but I want to talk about it for a long time ... I don't even know what to call him... friend/once lover/ongong problem/frustration of mine that I've had in my life for almost 5 years now. He's extremely unstable at times and I had to deal with him, yet again, during one of his unstable moments. He didn't want to live and was talking about killing himself. I hate dealing with that and somehow I think I enable him by dealing with it. Anyways, I have to get back to work. I'll try to talk about it later tonight.
8:53 pm.
Now giving it some thought, I don't think I have enough in me to give to discussing him tonight. He just frustrates me to no end. He wants so much from me and is willing to give so little. Yet he gives what he feels he can. I just can't talk about him right now. The only thing I'm willing to say at this moment is he was the one I mentioned in a previous post about my friends and their choices. I'd mentioned that I'd made mistakes and I'd been with a married man. Well, he's the married man. I have a million and one excuses as to why he's still in my life, even though he's married and none of them stand up to the test, I think. I'm just weak and no matter what, I can't push him away when he gets suicidal the minute I try to really push him away and out of my life. The odd thing is, this time, I don't feel like I was pushing him away or the reason he went suicidal last night. A question for me to think about anyways.
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