Oh I was thinking about how I used to write in here about being a mom... recovering from surgery made that really difficult. I felt extremely distant from the very beings who came from my own body. I have only just came around to a state where I am actually able to be their "physical" mother, if you can understand that. I have been there for them when they needed me but only as a presence for advice or emotional support. I was bed-ridden for almost a month and barely able to do basic day-to-day abilities, such as walking, picking things up, etc. To be totally denied one's ability to function as a normal person takes away a certain credibility in one's own mind in how to be a mother. In the physical sense, I mean, like taking them swimming, to the park, play wrestling, picking them up after school, etc.
I am back at the point where I am about 65% physically able and I took them swimming and it was like a smack in the face about how much was missed in having that contact. I was able to carry them in the water and have them ride on my back. That contact was so important and I had missed it so much! I knew it was gone but the old saying goes that "you don't know what you're missing until it's gone" seems kind of opposite. You may know what is missing but when it comes back??? You really realize what you missed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment